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literally tear Santa’s heart out

March 30th, 2009 by Fitz
santa with bruises

Some of the kids crawling onto Santa Joe’s lap this year have more than stuffed animals and video games on their most-wanted lists. Several times already this season, Joe Jackson has been asked to get Daddy a job or Mommy money to buy the house back.

“You see things behind the beard that nobody else will ever see or hear. I’ve had children just literally tear my heart out,” said Jackson, who is pulling on his red suit for a 19th season of playing Santa at private parties and festivals in the northern part of the state.

Sing after me: “It was the year without a Santa Claus…”

Kids share economy woes with Santa (Thanks, Paul Addison)

literally harpoon signals from space

March 17th, 2009 by Fitz

literally implode

March 9th, 2009 by Fitz

literally devour a piece of music

February 23rd, 2009 by Fitz

literally pepper an enemy with pinpoint precision

November 9th, 2008 by Fitz